As far back as I can remember, I have always loved grocery shopping.  To this day I know many friends are loathe to go the store with me because I can never just pick up what I am there for; I can’t help browsing, which is funny because I am very picky and probably won’t eat 90% of whats being sold.  So I have been to just about every market and grocery store within walking distance of my flat here, exploring the shelves.  I was surprised to find how many familiar products and brands are available.  Kraft Macaroni&Cheese is readily available almost everywhere (though thanks to a traumatizing childhood worm incident, I stay clear of the stuff), as are apparently all of the other 53-ish varieties of Heinz I’ve always wondered about.  One thing I have not seen is the San Francisco Treat ding ding.  For whatever reason, Rice*a*Roni Spanish Rice has been a staple on my menu for at least the last decade.  I love the stuff, and I’m not ashamed to admit it.  It is one of the few varieties not to contain dehydrated animal fat.  I have never been to Spain, so I have no idea what resemblance it has to anything there.  If the Mexican Rice variety is any indication, then I assume no one in Spain has ever eaten anything remotely like my beloved R*a*R Spanish Rice.  Anyway, you can’t get it here.  So I present, in absentia, Supposed-San Francisco-Style Spanish Rice, Egyptian Style:

1 tomato; diced

1 bell-like pepper; diced

1 yellow onion; chopped

2 mystery chili peppers; sliced

1/2 head of garlic; demolished

1 cup Egyptian rice (short grain)

1/2 cup vermicelli

1/4 tsp black pepper; unfortunately pre-ground

1 tsp salt; you’d better believe it

1 tsp coriander; expertly ground in the palm

1/4 tsp cumin

1 tsp cayenne chili powder; imported

1 tsp New Mexico hot chili powder; imported

1/2 tsp Egyptian chili powder; why even bother?

3 Tbsp butter; local and unnaturally yellow French imported (white and fatty)

2 slices Egyptian flat bread; toasted, on the side

1/2 bunch cilantro; chopped for garnish

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saute the lot until toasted.  add 1 3/4 cup water.  bring to boil.  cover.  simmer on low heat, 20-25 minutes.

‘The trouble with the world was,’ she continued hesitatingly, ‘that people were still superstitious instead of scientific. He said if everybody would study science more, there wouldn’t be all the trouble there was.’

‘He said science was going to discover the basic secret of life some day,’ the bartender put in. He scratched his head and frowned. ‘Didn’t I read in the paper the other day where they’d finally found out what it was?’

‘I missed that,’ I murmured.

‘I saw that,’ said Sandra. ‘About two days ago.’

‘That’s right,’ said the bartender.

‘What is the secret of life?’ I asked.

‘I forget,’ said Sandra.

‘Protein,’ the bartender declared. ‘They found out something about protein.’

‘Yeah,’ said Sandra. ‘That’s it.’

– Vonnegut, Cat’s Cradle

Cotaa’s Balacona

Breakfast of Champions:

2 slices Egyptian flat bread dipped in 2 unrefrigerated eggs; fried

1 banana; sliced

maple syrup

Nescafe; 1 sugar

equal parts Juhayna tropical juice cocktail and Baraka sparkling mineral water; iced

1 angry Marti cat; eager to express her opinion on current political events